I’ve probably taken half a dozen runs toward this post, kind of a post-mortem of the past couple of months. Part of the reason it’s been hard is that I’m not really fond of conflict or controversy–at least in certain areas–and the thoughts and feelings I’ve been dealing with are kind of loaded with that stuff.

What I’m saying is, there’s a lot of negative stuff out there right now, and I’m not really thrilled with the idea of attracting any of it to me. May be a bit cowardly, but… well… *sigh*

Trump was elected.

The last few weeks have been filled with a lot of shock, anger, frustration, fear, second-guessing… not only my own, but also from a lot of friends and acquaintances. The Republican party, with the position it is in, has the power to affect the lives of a lot of people, and probably not for the better.

I’m a middle-aged, white, hetero (well, mostly), guy. I also live in a mostly white, rural state. I’m not likely to be in danger of any kind of systemic oppression or discrimination. But I know a lot of people who don’t have that luxury. As a friend, that’s troubling and upsetting to me. I can only imagine how it might be in their shoes.

On the one hand, I can kind of understand the attitude of those who are frustrated with the way things are. Things are pretty messed up in this country. There is a lot of uncertainty, and that leads to fear. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate…. the way to the dark side.

The world is not as they have expected — as they have been told it was. And those whose fault it is? Have lied and conned and manipulated. It’s the immigrants. It’s the muslims. It’s the blacks. It’s the OTHER.

I wish they could be right. That, somehow, the upcoming administration and Republican ascension will result in — somehow — America becoming “great” again.

And, you know what? It will be. For Trump and the hateful sycophants he surrounds himself with.

But not for you.

Unless you are one of the very few with wealth and power, Trump and his ilk do not give a shit about you. They only care how you can be used to stifle dissent. How you can be used to maintain and exacerbate the differences that have been imposed. How you can fuel the engine of their enrichment and aggrandizement.

How you can be used.

There will, no doubt, be the occasional sop. The token gestures. But as the system is dismantled, our society taken apart piece by piece… people will suffer. And die. Any anger that manages to bubble up will be put down, or directed at the bogeymen they have created. The muslim. The black. The gay. The other.

There is no other.

There is only us. We have been divided. Misdirected. Pointed at each other so that we can have our pockets picked, our future sold off to enrich a select few in the present.

It’s frustrating. It’s depressing. It’s maddening. It’s infuriating.

I don’t have an answer. I don’t know if we (as a nation) are going to get through it, or what we (as a nation) will look like afterward.

I am afraid.

I want my kids to have a future… and right now that future is looking pretty dark.

I need to do something. I’ve been privileged enough to be able to sit on the sidelines the past four decades. But I can’t in good conscience do that any longer.

I’m still trying to figure out what I’m going to do. What I can do.

I’m one voice, but there are a lot of us out there. Time to speak out.