It has been a while.
This site has existed in some form or another for over 20 years. Despite the lack of blog updates (or any of the other update/maintenance things I’ve had in mind), I’ve been maintaining the hosting and registration because… well, it’s mine, and I don’t want to lose it, even if it’s been (figuratively) sitting on the shelf unused for a couple of years.
It should come as a surprise to absolutely no one that the last few years have been rough for me. I am far from unique in this regard, and those struggles have affected the way I approach my life and work.
Some things are the same — I’m still part of the development team for Earthdawn. I still live in Maine. I still live a not-insignificant portion of my life online.
But other things are not. My wife of nearly 20 years died in 2020 as a result of Covid-19 just before Thanksgiving. I’m a single dad to two great kids (both teenagers now). Personal (and professional) projects have suffered as I’ve struggled with focus and executive dysfunction.
I want to produce more… but if I’m honest with myself, I’m getting down on myself for things I haven’t done, rather than celebrate the things I have.
Production? For three years I’ve been cohosting the Earthdawn Survival Guide, a podcast dedicated to the game that is such a large part of my life. We recently passed 150 episodes, no small feat in the podcast world.
I’ve handled the layout for multiple Earthdawn books, and continued acting as an ambassador and public face for the game.
Sure, some things on my wish list may not have happened (yet), but… we shouldn’t define ourselves by our failures. I’ve gotten through, which are an accomplishment for anyone given the last five years. I finally got on some medication that seems to be helping a little bit with my focus (after wanting to do that for a while), and my personal life is being reassembled.
I’m not a big believer in resolutions… but this feels like the year for one. I’m going to try and keep it simple.
I resolve to not get down on myself for not accomplishing everything. I resolve to be kind to myself, to give myself the grace I extend to those I care about facing their own struggles. I will try to form some new and better habits, but they might not take… and that’s okay. Life is a work in progress. Count the victories where you can, and remember that — while life can change in an instant — there’s always tomorrow.
Best wishes to you all, and who knows, this old site might see more from me yet.