My car was stolen this morning.

I woke up and noticed it was gone, along with my key ring — it appears the thief got into our house in the wee hours of the morning, grabbed my keys, and made off with our car. We haven’t even had it a year yet.

What I find most annoying about this, oddly enough, is not that my car was stolen, but rather that my keys were stolen along with it. Not only did I need to replace the locks on my front door, but the spare key to my grandmother’s house, the key to my locker at work (which I fortunately do not keep locked), the key to my bike lock, my steamer trunk, our luggage… all of these keys are gone (unless, through some miracle, the car and keys are found). Also, those convenient little key-ring tags from the video store and whatnot are gone as well.

Oh yeah, I should mention that our 30-disc CD wallet, full of CDs, was in the car as well. So now, we have to replace that gap in our collection (naturally, it was the stuff we liked, otherwise it wouldn’t have been in the car).

It’s a pain in the ass, and it’s generally not cool. So if, through some bizarre quirk of fate you see a black, 2003 4-door Chevy Cavalier with Maine lcense plate 5470 KC, tail it and give me a call. We’ll call in a strike force and take the lady back.